So I saw this picture and I wanted to make one similar to it. Similar: but not the same. I have the perfect image caught up in my head, but no matter how hard I try I can’t get it right. I can get it almost right, but that’s not the same, and almost just won’t do. It HAS to be what I have in my head, or else there’s no point to it at all. I’ve spent hours on here playing around, trying different ways to get the effect I want, but it just won’t go. Several times I’ve thought fuck it; I’ll just do something else. But some compulsion deep inside me just won’t let me drop it, it’s like I HAVE to do it or I’ll die. How ridiculous is that? It’s a picture. The worst that could ever possibly come from this is that I have to use my similar image or a different picture entirely. So what? I’ll want to change it in a few weeks any way so why does it matter? It doesn’t. I know this on a rational level, I’ve argued with myself and I know I’m right. And yet, I still can’t stop myself...
By the way, that's not the picture. I got the effect I wanted for the background eventually, but then I changed the theme entirely and scrapped it. Such is life.