What is your diagnosis?
Depression, Social and General Anxiety and an ED
What is that?
Depression is feeling really sad, and numb, for a long period of time. It drains your energy and motivation to do anything and takes over your brain in strange and subtle ways. Social anxiety gives you panic attacks in social situations, ranging from feeling out of place and as though no one wants you there to full blown panic attacks at the thought of leaving the house. General anxiety gives you constant feelings of worrying, sometimes over literally nothing. It can actually make you throw up from panic, and give you constant feeling of being ill. An ED (or Eating Disorder) is a problem with food. It can range from the well known Anorexia and Bulimia to non-specific ED (which is what I have) I believe there is also EDs associated with overeating, but I don’t know much about them.
Depression, Social and General Anxiety and an ED
What is that?
Depression is feeling really sad, and numb, for a long period of time. It drains your energy and motivation to do anything and takes over your brain in strange and subtle ways. Social anxiety gives you panic attacks in social situations, ranging from feeling out of place and as though no one wants you there to full blown panic attacks at the thought of leaving the house. General anxiety gives you constant feelings of worrying, sometimes over literally nothing. It can actually make you throw up from panic, and give you constant feeling of being ill. An ED (or Eating Disorder) is a problem with food. It can range from the well known Anorexia and Bulimia to non-specific ED (which is what I have) I believe there is also EDs associated with overeating, but I don’t know much about them.
"Social Anxiety stops me from wanting to go out and makes me
generally, extremely awkward around people which means you lose
friends and don’t have much of a social life, which leads to more depression"
How does it affect you?
The most obvious way I've been affected is my social anxiety and depression got to the point where I could no longer attend school, due to extreme panic attacks. Fortunately there are special schools for people with these problems, where you go in less often and they’re trained to deal with this. (in case you’re interested, you need to be referred by your doctor). Other than that, having depression steals any motivation you have a lot of the time, which makes it hard to get much done, so its easy to fall behind on work and just stay in bed all day. Social Anxiety stops me from wanting to go out and makes me generally, extremely awkward around people which means you lose friends and don’t have much of a social life, which leads to more depression. Its a vicious cycle really. I've suffered with self harm, which is a common part of depression for many people. I find it hard to sleep because of panic attacks whilst falling asleep, which literally make me feel as though I can’t breathe, which is obviously pretty scary. I have a lowered immune system due to losing insane amounts of weight through having a ED, and am currently quite underweight, which makes me pretty tired and feeling ill an awful lot. Obviously, I also feel sad a lot, for no real reason, which I believe is the general depression thing.
How long have you been diagnosed?
I got diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety first, when I was 14, so almost three years ago now. Social Anxiety happened soon after that, followed by the ED.
The most obvious way I've been affected is my social anxiety and depression got to the point where I could no longer attend school, due to extreme panic attacks. Fortunately there are special schools for people with these problems, where you go in less often and they’re trained to deal with this. (in case you’re interested, you need to be referred by your doctor). Other than that, having depression steals any motivation you have a lot of the time, which makes it hard to get much done, so its easy to fall behind on work and just stay in bed all day. Social Anxiety stops me from wanting to go out and makes me generally, extremely awkward around people which means you lose friends and don’t have much of a social life, which leads to more depression. Its a vicious cycle really. I've suffered with self harm, which is a common part of depression for many people. I find it hard to sleep because of panic attacks whilst falling asleep, which literally make me feel as though I can’t breathe, which is obviously pretty scary. I have a lowered immune system due to losing insane amounts of weight through having a ED, and am currently quite underweight, which makes me pretty tired and feeling ill an awful lot. Obviously, I also feel sad a lot, for no real reason, which I believe is the general depression thing.
How long have you been diagnosed?
I got diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety first, when I was 14, so almost three years ago now. Social Anxiety happened soon after that, followed by the ED.
"In the end, my mum made me go speak to a doctor about it,
because I could barely get out of bed, due to feeling hopeless constantly"
How long did it take to get diagnosed?
I had been feeling depressed for a couple of years, and the anxiety effects for a few months, but I didn't think it was the type of thing you go to the doctors for. I saw a school counselor who told me I wasn't depressed but it was just my age and hormones, which obviously made me more reluctant to get help. In the end, my mum made me go speak to a doctor about it, because I could barely get out of bed, due to feeling hopeless constantly.
How did you feel when you were diagnosed?
It was a mix of emotions, I guess. Almost relief that someone can try and fix these feelings, but also a panic. You get used to your sadness, it's almost comforting. There was a bit of anxiety around the fact that its not socially acceptable or understood, I was definitely worried about what i’d have to tell people.
Have you ever been hospitalized due to your condition?
I've been in a general hospital for an attempt, and also when I stopped eating and then my last year of school was in a hospital school, which was physically within the hospital.
I had been feeling depressed for a couple of years, and the anxiety effects for a few months, but I didn't think it was the type of thing you go to the doctors for. I saw a school counselor who told me I wasn't depressed but it was just my age and hormones, which obviously made me more reluctant to get help. In the end, my mum made me go speak to a doctor about it, because I could barely get out of bed, due to feeling hopeless constantly.
How did you feel when you were diagnosed?
It was a mix of emotions, I guess. Almost relief that someone can try and fix these feelings, but also a panic. You get used to your sadness, it's almost comforting. There was a bit of anxiety around the fact that its not socially acceptable or understood, I was definitely worried about what i’d have to tell people.
Have you ever been hospitalized due to your condition?
I've been in a general hospital for an attempt, and also when I stopped eating and then my last year of school was in a hospital school, which was physically within the hospital.
"I hated my first Counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote
textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong,
which obviously isn't helpful, especially to a young person"
Do you feel hospitalization helped you?
Physically, sure. Mentally, not so much. I’m terrified of hospitals in general, and I don’t feel they’re the best place to spend time when you’re not having a great time of it. Especially when I was there for my ED, there were some very ill people, and that was seriously scary. Going to school in the hospital helped me no end though, possibly being the only thing that’s had any effect on my social anxiety.
How do you feel about your overall experience with medical healthcare professionals?
Its always a mixed thing, you come across some which are super helpful, and some which you hate. My GP was amazing at getting me the treatment, and I got on well with my second counsellor, even though she didn't really help much. I hated my first counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong, which obviously isn't helpful, especially to a young person.
Physically, sure. Mentally, not so much. I’m terrified of hospitals in general, and I don’t feel they’re the best place to spend time when you’re not having a great time of it. Especially when I was there for my ED, there were some very ill people, and that was seriously scary. Going to school in the hospital helped me no end though, possibly being the only thing that’s had any effect on my social anxiety.
How do you feel about your overall experience with medical healthcare professionals?
Its always a mixed thing, you come across some which are super helpful, and some which you hate. My GP was amazing at getting me the treatment, and I got on well with my second counsellor, even though she didn't really help much. I hated my first counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong, which obviously isn't helpful, especially to a young person.
"I hated my first counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong, which obviously isn't helpful, especially to a young person. "
What treatment if any are you undertaking?
At the moment, i’m just taking anxiety pills on a as / when I need them basis. They just help with the physical symptoms of panic attacks. I should also be attending therapy, but it doesn't help me much, and gives me huge panic attacks so I’m avoiding it.
Does your treatment have any negative side effects?
They can make you feel a bit spacey, its quite a weird effect to get used to as you know you should be panicking but you’re not. They have a huge list of side effects on the packet, but I haven’t experienced any of them
Have you tried any other treatments?
I hated my first counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong, which obviously isn’t helpful, especially to a young person. I’ve tried various types of therapy.
At the moment, i’m just taking anxiety pills on a as / when I need them basis. They just help with the physical symptoms of panic attacks. I should also be attending therapy, but it doesn't help me much, and gives me huge panic attacks so I’m avoiding it.
Does your treatment have any negative side effects?
They can make you feel a bit spacey, its quite a weird effect to get used to as you know you should be panicking but you’re not. They have a huge list of side effects on the packet, but I haven’t experienced any of them
Have you tried any other treatments?
I hated my first counsellor with a passion, he’d just quote textbooks at me and try to convince me there was nothing wrong, which obviously isn’t helpful, especially to a young person. I’ve tried various types of therapy.
"I think its all lack of understanding and awareness
about it. People think Depression is just a bad mood"
Did you share your diagnosis with family and friends?
Only with close friends and family.
Did any of your family or friends have a negative reaction?
Most of my friends didn't understand it, and tried to tell me to cheer up, and my dad definitely didn't believe there was anything wrong with me. I think its all lack of understanding and awareness about it. People think Depression is just a bad mood.
Only with close friends and family.
Did any of your family or friends have a negative reaction?
Most of my friends didn't understand it, and tried to tell me to cheer up, and my dad definitely didn't believe there was anything wrong with me. I think its all lack of understanding and awareness about it. People think Depression is just a bad mood.
"I went through a stage where I could barely leave my house,
and the thought of even talking to people on facebook would
make me panic, so I grew apart from an awful lot of people"
Have you lost any friends or family due to your mental health issues?
Not due to their opinions on it, but I went through a stage where I could barely leave my house, and the thought of even talking to people on facebook would make me panic, so I grew apart from an awful lot of people. Also, when you’re depressed you’re not the most fun person to have around, and for me anything like going out for a meal is completely ruled out.
Do you think your family and friends understand your condition?
Not really. My mum has done a lot of reading about it, and I try to explain it to people, but I think its something you can only understand properly if you actually have it.
Not due to their opinions on it, but I went through a stage where I could barely leave my house, and the thought of even talking to people on facebook would make me panic, so I grew apart from an awful lot of people. Also, when you’re depressed you’re not the most fun person to have around, and for me anything like going out for a meal is completely ruled out.
Do you think your family and friends understand your condition?
Not really. My mum has done a lot of reading about it, and I try to explain it to people, but I think its something you can only understand properly if you actually have it.
"Sometimes you get people who feel sorry for you,
or find it a bit strange, but not often"
Do you tell new people about your condition?
Not usually. Its quite hard for me to talk about, and I’d rather get to know people and see if they’re sticking around before I tell them.
If so, what kind of reaction do you usually get?
Generally people don’t understand, but take it well. Most of the time people are okay with it. Sometimes you get people who feel sorry for you, or find it a bit strange, but not often.
Not usually. Its quite hard for me to talk about, and I’d rather get to know people and see if they’re sticking around before I tell them.
If so, what kind of reaction do you usually get?
Generally people don’t understand, but take it well. Most of the time people are okay with it. Sometimes you get people who feel sorry for you, or find it a bit strange, but not often.
"Also, if you learn to hide it well, as many people do with Depression,
people can think that you’re lying or being two-faced about feelings"
Do you think people perceive you differently once they know of your mental health issues?
Possibly, I think they’re more careful around you. Especially with a ED, you find people who know will watch you eat, and wonder if you’re telling the truth. Also, if you learn to hide it well, as many people do with Depression, people can think that you’re lying or being two-faced about feelings.
Do you feel your mental health has an impact on your self-esteem?
Well, I have low self esteem anyway, which I think is a common thing with Depression and especially EDs. Feeling ashamed of it definitely impacts your self esteem big time.
Possibly, I think they’re more careful around you. Especially with a ED, you find people who know will watch you eat, and wonder if you’re telling the truth. Also, if you learn to hide it well, as many people do with Depression, people can think that you’re lying or being two-faced about feelings.
Do you feel your mental health has an impact on your self-esteem?
Well, I have low self esteem anyway, which I think is a common thing with Depression and especially EDs. Feeling ashamed of it definitely impacts your self esteem big time.
"Its important to have people to talk to, and people who can take your
mind off things. I find music and art to be big things which help me"
What’s important to you when you’re struggling?
Not a lot, to be completely honest. Its important to have people to talk to, and people who can take your mind off things. I find music and art to be big things which help me.
What keeps you going?
Hope, that it’ll get better.
Not a lot, to be completely honest. Its important to have people to talk to, and people who can take your mind off things. I find music and art to be big things which help me.
What keeps you going?
Hope, that it’ll get better.